I accidentally had phone sex last night
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
