in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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