Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
