I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
