So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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