peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
