That's intense
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Everyone says I win the strip club
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
