so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
