So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
