i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
