Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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