shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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