I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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