Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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