I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
