I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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