Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I would fuck him just for his dog
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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