If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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