I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
