And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she smelled like a LAN party
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
