chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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