I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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