Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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