And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
