i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
