Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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