Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
