He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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