If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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