No awkward lesbian experiences without me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
