did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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