And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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