I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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