Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
