can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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