the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
