Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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