Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
