I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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