yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
In other news, I just burned my penis
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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