what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
