Plan B is the new Plan A
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
