idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
