Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
