Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
