I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
