Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
