girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
