watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
