im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
