i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
