it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
